Still Around
By Andijoh
__________
A Tribute to Hajiya Bilkisu (Yarinya) Dangoggo
__________
Eleven years since
You returned to your Lord.
You still remain.
I feared the silence
Memory brings,
The lonely room
Where echoes dwell;
For I was scared
That time would steal
The fragrance
I once knew so well.
The gentle touch,
The caring hands,
The warmth
That wrapped
My restless days,
The Yardley powder’s
Tender scent,
Aboniki’s familiar haze.
My dearest Mami,
Years have passed.
Yet every dawn still
Speaks your name.
My dreams once
Stretched your waiting arms
But waking life
Was not the same.
Your room
Grew empty,
Walls grew still.
Its whispered stories
Turned to air.
so I concealed
What time had spared
And built
Your dwelling
In my prayer.
I miss the songs
You sang at dawn,
The playful words
That made me smile:
“Ga uwata,
Ga uwata,”
Your voice
Still walks
The extra mile.
“Za mu ci Andijoh
Da miya.”
You sang
With laughter
Bright and free.
Every breakfast
You served,
Felt like a feast
Prepared for me.
There is a bird
Whose morning song
Returns me
To Jinya once more:
The rain-washed breeze,
The boiling pot,
The scent
Oil upon the floor.
Before the sun
Embraced the earth,
Our home was already alive.
One brief breath
I walk again
Where all my sweetest
Memories thrive.
Yet grief has taken
What I loved:
Your fragrance
Fades
Beyond recall.
Your bed
No longer carries warmth.
Your room
Remembers none at all.
Then softly came
Another thought,
More gentle
Than my aching pain.
Perhaps,
You never truly left.
Perhaps,
You simply chose
To reign within.
The hearts of those
You touched,
The hungry mouths
You chose to feed,
The little heads
Your hands caressed,
The silent prayers,
The selfless deed.
I search for you
In simple things:
The talcum scent
In market air,
Old wrappers
Folded lovingly,
An elder’s voice
So soft and fair.
For one small heartbeat,
I believe that
You are standing
Close to me.
Truth returns
With quiet steps,
As faithful as eternity.
Grief is a traveler
With many robes.
Some days,
It falls
As burning tears.
Some days,
It hides
Inside a scent,
Whispers through
Forgotten years.
Sometimes it comes
As one last wish
To ask you
Just one question more,
To hear your answer
One last time,
Like countless mornings
Long before.
I wish you
Could see me now:
My sons
Have learned
To love the Qur’an.
I know at last
The pride you felt,
The day
My little dreams began.
There is so much
I long to say.
Yet one more
Sorrow pierced my soul
Abba has also gone
To rest.
Called gently
To his final goal.
Perhaps,
You waited there
For him,
Beyond the veil
No eyes can see.
perhaps,
Before another word,
You asked of all your family.
We still remember
Both your names.
Your stories
Never fade away.
The smell of rain,
A bird at dawn,
Still brings
Your presence
To the day.
So many moments
Called for you:
My children’s first
Uncertain stride,
The day I held
Each newborn son,
The days I needed
You beside.
When first
I placed my book
In print,
I wished your eyes
Would read it through.
When life became
Too hard to bear,
My weary heart
Reached out for you.
Would you still
Call me by that name,
No other voice
Has ever known?
Would you embrace
My little boys
As though they too
Were once your own?
No,
I have not forgotten
You.
Your laughter,
Your whispered prayer;
The home you built
From love alone
Still wrap
Its mercy everywhere.
The world moved on
The day you left.
My heart still lingers
Where you stood.
For loss is never
One farewell.
It blooms again
In every wound.
The day your room
Forgets your scent,
The day your laughter
Fades away,
The day a treasured
Memory returns in silence
Where it lay.
Each is another
Parting kiss,
Another sunset,
Another sigh.
Yet love refuses
Still to die.
For love
Leaves footprints,
Time cannot erase.
You taught us
Kindness asks no fee.
You taught us
Every guest should eat.
You taught that
Love is often served
Before it ever learns
To speak.
So now I know
Where you remain.
Not in the room
That time reclaimed.
Not in the bed
Now cold and still.
Not in the scent
I cannot name.
You live
Within the lives
You shaped,
Within the goodness
You began,
Within the hearts
That learned from yours
What it truly means
To be human.
And if forever
Visits earth,
It surely comes
In this disguise:
A righteous soul
Whose love outlives
The hands,
The house,
The years,
The eyes.
You are not gone.
You have become
The best of us.
May Allah
Grant you peace,
In Firdaws al-A‘la. Amin.
__________
© Khadijah Ibrahim Labo (Andijoh), a lawyer, poet and writer based in Katsina, Nigeria.
